Little Sister

My cute sister blogged about my little wooden people! Months ago. I didn't even know she had a blog. How embarrassing.

{is my title misleading? the boys are not getting a little sister yet.} ;)

Andrew Ryan

Months have gone by since this little guy was born.

But memories of the day haven't faded, although they get a little foggier as the weeks go by. I've been meaning to write a few of the memories down for a while now, but life has gone on without me taking the time to sit down to do it.

I was convinced he was a girl. Absolutely convinced. Not because I necessarily wanted a girl more than a boy - we told everyone that we would take what we were given - but because my pregnancy was SO. DIFFERENT. I spent the first 20 weeks not wanting to eat a thing. The nausea wasn't too bad (and only from about weeks 6-9?), but the total loss of appetite helped me hit the halfway mark without gaining a pound. I had acne. My belly was small. Tiny, really, compared to my other pregnancies. This MUST be a girl pregnancy.

20 weeks

My pregnancy was uneventful, and went by FAST. I would blink and another trimester would be gone. The 3rd trimester especially flew by, because we had Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, and all the hustle & bustle surrounding them, and then suddenly I was full-term. I walked into my appointment at 38 weeks and my doctor said "Wow, that went by really fast!" And then we talked about eviction. My due date was January 26. The other boys didn't come on their own, and we were all really hoping this one would. He didn't. We checked into the hospital in the evening of January 31. I've started with prostaglandin gel every time, and once my water is broken my labor starts. I've never needed Pitocin (which I've heard referred to as "from the devil" enough times that I'm grateful I've never needed it!)

in the hospital before gowning up

But something different happened this time. The gel actually put me into labor without my water being broken. It was WEIRD, but an experience I'm really grateful for. I'd never experienced "textbook labor" - where you start off having contractions, not very painful, far apart, that get closer and closer together and more painful. Both of my other labors went from 0 to 100 as soon as my water broke, both on the speed and pain scale. But this? These contractions were manageable! I was actually in labor but I could still chat on Facebook! (which I did, for a while. I stopped checking in around midnight.) I walked around the room. Over and over and over. Brian dozed for a little bit. And then it got hard. And after many hours of "wow, this is pretty hard, I hope morning comes quickly!"... no progress. "I think the doctor really just needs to come in and break your water!" my nurse said to me, at least 3 times. I had a lot of back labor and he was sitting in an awkward position.

I decided against the epidural - I had one with Ben and got it too late, so not only did it not work all that great or for very long, but I also had a lot of residual back pain. My doctor warned me that once he broke my water I couldn't get it because I would probably go super fast, and my thought was, "I've been doing this for 10 hours now, if I wanted an epi I would have gotten it a long time ago! I've made it this far..." And really, I wasn't at that "Am I Going To SURVIVE This!?!?" point. Yet. And in retrospect, I'm really glad I didn't get it. Minus the Cervadil at the beginning, my labor & delivery was literally totally drug-free (normally I get sick a lot during labor so I have Zofran to help, but I didn't even get that this time).

Andrew was born a crazy 45 minutes later, at 9:10am, weighing 8lb, 5oz. That part is always a little bit of a blur to me - they handed him to me, Brian was chuckling and said "It's a boy!" and I said "REALLY!?!?". He was SO sweet. I fell instantly in love. He seemed SO SMALL! He screamed for about the first half hour of his life outside the womb, but then was perfectly content to snuggle and snooze.

Some people don't like to name their babies until they've seen them and figure out what name fits them. I'm the opposite - I like to have a name ahead of time. I like looking at the baby for the first time and calling him by his name. I figure they grow into their names. ;)

Later that day, grandparents and aunts and uncles and BIG BROTHERS came up to visit. Everyone loves a new baby. Ben was especially enamored.

One of the first things the nurses who cleaned him up after he was born noticed was that he was tongue-tied. Our doctor thought it would be best to get his frenulum clipped right away, but the ENT who came to see us in the hospital wanted to wait a few weeks because of the risk of infection. In those few weeks, Andrew gained plenty of weight and didn't seem to struggle with nursing too much, but it was pretty painful for me. The surgery was a quick office visit, nothing super serious, but it was still hard for me to watch. Most people I had talked to whose kids had the same thing said it was fairly painless and hardly bled; not the case with Andrew. But it was over quick and he seemed normal by the next day. He kept rolling his tongue around in his mouth and sticking it out, almost like he was thinking, "What's this thing!?" And nursing suddenly became SO MUCH BETTER.

Immediately after he was born, my reaction was "that was so hard!" because it was so much LONGER than my other two (Nate's was just over 6 hours and Ben's was 3.) But in retrospect, it was also the one that I "enjoyed" the most (that sounds crazy! but I felt like it went better than the other two.) I always find things to be really raw and emotional right afterwards, and I immediately swore I was getting pain meds next time. I don't get those euphoric pain-free moments after birth. I'm in love with the new baby, of course, but I'm usually asking for ibuprofen and saying "ow ow ow" as I bond with the new little guy. But now that a little time has passed, the memories are a little rosier in my mind. Time really does heal. 

Little Andrew, you are the best baby. I thought the others were easy, but you? You have the sweetest and most mellow temperament. You hardly ever cry. I feed you when you are hungry and change you when you are wet, and that's all it really takes to keep you happy. If you are fed and changed, you just grin and grin. You love to be held, but you also don't mind laying on the couch or on the blanket next to all the action. You LIKE your carseat and will fall asleep in it (unusual in our house!). You like your bed. We got a new full-size bassinet/playpen for Christmas from Granny & Grandpa because the old one was sinking in, and you sleep in it! Without fussing! For hours and hours every night! God had mercy on me and gave me a good sleeper because He knows sleep deprivation is the biggest cross for me. I thought it was a fluke and refused to talk about it at first, because once you brag about your good sleeper then suddenly they aren't. But you seem to be holding steady. I was a little worried that you were going to be colicky your first few weeks, because you were pretty fussy in the evenings, but that dissipated and now you are RARELY fussy.

I'm so grateful that God gave you to us. You have given me yet another perspective on the beauty of new life, the wonder of babies, and the love a mother has for her children. I already can't imagine my life without you.

Another Semester Over...

and now I should have a little more free time. whew! 3 more classes down, about 8 more to go. And a whole summer to catch up on the little things that have fallen by the wayside.

I've been blogging a little for Catholic Sistas lately - 30 Things Every Mother Should Have and Should Know last week, and another post coming on Friday. :)

St. Daddy and Other Prayers...

We've recently started adding a "mini-litany" to our night prayers, including the boys' first and middle name-saints. After a few days, Ben realized that we were leaving out 2 family members' names (even though Brian & I would include our patron saints, he didn't make the connection). He now insists on saying "St. Mommy, pray for us," and "St. Daddy, pray for us." Nothing can deter him.

**********

The boys have gotten really eager about praying the Rosary in the evenings (their enthusiasm usually wears off by about the 2nd decade, but we're working on it!). Tonight Nathan clearly asked if we were going to pray the "grocery." I had him repeat himself several times, just to make sure that was really what he was saying. Sure enough. "I have a white 'grocery' and Ben has a blue 'grocery'!" I wonder if he's confused about why Hy-Vee is called the "grocery store", then? I've never seen a rosary for sale there.

**********

I've decided to finally let go of my blogging ideals - I may or may not post daily, or weekly, or however often you're supposed to post to be considered "active." So many times I have thought about writing a blog post but didn't want to make the "commitment" to jump back in - isn't that silly? Really, it's sad, because I'm not great about journaling the little things that happen around here - the cute sayings, the things I want to remember. I know there are dozens of adorable things the kids have said that have already slipped my mind, and things we've done that I have forgotten details of. I DON'T WANT TO FORGET. So I'm going to try to be better about recording them here. I would love to do a journal for each of my kids, but that's not realistic for me. I would rather have a few sporadic posts here and there than NOTHING at all! I would also rather have lots and lots of short posts than just a handful of long, detailed ones because I'm too intimidated/busy/tired to write long, thought-out posts, perfectly crafted posts.

(I am really good about scrapbooking and baby books, BUT, I tend to do those months after the actual events have happened, and I've already forgotten the cute things that were said that day and the specific details. So I have lots of PICTURES, but nothing written.)

(Oh yeah, and I did have another baby, and I AM planning on writing a long, thought-out post on him and everything surrounding his birth sometime soon! But my blocks of time are still limited - he requires lots of snuggles, and typing and cuddling don't mix.) ;)

To Nathan:

We went on a date today. I felt like you needed some mommy time. You've done SO well adjusting to our new little addition, and are such a kind and gentle big brother. But in the bustle of activity at home, you seem to be getting more frustrated and easily upset. It's hard being two. You have to do lots of things you don't really like... letting us help you brush your teeth (you want to do it yourself), take naps, eat food you don't care for (you are a pretty picky eater.) And you have to share and take turns with your little brother. It's hard to remember that. So we went out together, just you and me. You love the library - so we went there first. And you got to do whatever you wanted. You went for the Thomas trains, and then the puzzles. Then we discovered the computer with games. You had so much fun pressing the keyboard, which made the musical instruments on the screen play notes. And you were so adorable with those little headphones on! You could have played that game forever.

I let you pick out a movie. You picked the Leapfrog Christmas movie to bring home - we borrowed it a couple months ago and you watched it so many times. You call it "Christmas Tad" - I don't think we'll ever go to the library now without borrowing a copy of Christmas Tad. :) You also picked something out for Ben. Sweet boy.

We stopped by the post office afterwards to grab some stamps and mail a letter, and then we went to Sonic for a treat. I unbuckled your car seat and let you climb up into the front while we waited for our ice cream. How cool were you!?

The whole time we were in the car, you clutched that movie in your hands. You were so serious about it.

Then they brought our food. We got ice cream to share, and some fries and a drink. You aren't into ice cream all that much - you had a few bites, but were mostly interested in the fries. You got your own box and that was just the best thing ever.

We headed home after that, listening to our Wee Sing CD all the while. You LOVE that CD. We can't listen to anything else in the car now. You and Ben always request the CD and are not happy until I turn it on. It's cute to hear you sing along. If you try to sing and can't keep up with all the words, you just sing the last word of each line. And you have great pitch, too.

You were sad when we got home, because you knew it was nap time, which you hate - but, you still need. We would have difficult evenings if I let you stay up in the afternoon. Usually you cry for a couple minutes, but then conk out, always with your pillow over your head or most of your body.

You have the cutest little personality. You can be so serious one minute, and so happy and goofy the next. You love puzzles, playing with balls, and your trains, of course. You can write all your letters (always uppercase) and are finally starting to draw things other than letters! You know all your colors, and your new favorite thing is to talk about your "favorite color." Your favorite color of the day always corresponds with what you're wearing. Yesterday you wore a white t-shirt to bed, and your favorite color was white. Today your shirt was red, and so was your favorite color. It cracks me up. You noticed one day that when your glasses caught the sunlight a certain way, there was a "rainbow" on the lenses. Now you always try to find the rainbow. You'll stand by the window and tilt your head around until you can see it. :)

I love all the cute little things you do, and I don't want to forget any of them. I can't believe how quickly you're growing - you'll be 3 in a couple months! Three years old! That is HUGE! I was talking to Daddy last night about how old you're getting. He's excited to see you grow up, but I want you to stay little forever. But since that can't happen... I really want to cherish every minute I have with you, to enjoy all your precious little moments. To live in the moment while not being melancholic about the future. I'll keep trying.

Nate, you are awesome. :)