"Sure" Means Yes

Testing out the camera on mommy's new phone today, early in the morning. Don't be fooled, they really are sick - see Ben's droopy eyelids.

I usually respond to requests with a "Yes, that's fine," "No, I don't think so," or "No, not right now, maybe later." Apparently lately I've been saying "Sure" a lot. The first few times I said it, Nate would give me a quizzical look, and then I would have to clarify, "Yes, you can do that." Then he started asking, "Does sure mean 'yes'?"

Now every time I say sure, he grins and says, "Sure means yes!" Variations include, "'Fine' means sure and sure means yes!" "'Okay' means yes!" Learning about synonyms early!

The Wedding at Cana and Filling the Jugs to the Brim

Don't you love it when the homily was just what you needed to hear? Very spiritually uplifting and inspiring. It works out even better when you are at Mass alone and get to hear the whole thing without being distracted by littles next to you in the pew. ;) (Unfortunately, they are still sick, but maybe on the mend? Fever-free so far today.)

Today's Gospel was the Wedding at Cana. In the homily, Father pointed out that the water jugs that Jesus told the stewards to fill to the brim were huge - probably 30-40 gallons, This meant they had to haul the water and it probably took quite a while to fill them (no hoses or sinks!). What if one of the stewards thought, eh, this is a lot of work, and we don't even know what the point is, no one wants to drink water (since they weren't yet aware of the miracle), so the steward just begrudgingly filled his jug, and only filled it about halfway to avoid doing so much work. He figured that no one would really care or notice.

Would Jesus still have performed the miracle? Yes. Would the water in that jug still have turned to wine? Yes. But there wouldn't have been as much wine in that jug as in the others - it would have had the same amount of wine as there had been water. So, less wine than what Jesus really wanted. Not because of any defect on the part of Jesus, but because the steward didn't do HIS part.

It's the same thing with our spiritual life - God wants to fill us with the "wine" of divine grace ALL the way. Often the reason we struggle spiritually isn't because there's something wrong with God or that He isn't giving us blessings, but because we haven't done our part - keeping the commandments, being kind and charitable towards our family and our neighbors, praying regularly, receiving the Sacraments, doing penance for our sins. We have to keep filling our spiritual "jug", and like filling the water jugs, it takes a lot of effort. God WANTS to give us grace, but we have to dispose ourselves to receive it - we have to fill ourselves with the "water" so He can turn it into "wine", metaphorically.

He also gave the example of a young child at the zoo. The child may throw a fit and decide he doesn't want to walk anymore. If it's been a long day, he may be legitimately exhausted and his parents may carry him because he just can't take another step. But sometimes, the fit happens early in the excursion. The child may be a little tired and grumpy, but he is still capable of walking - so his parents encourage him to keep walking and don't give in to his tantrum. It's good for him to keep walking, even if he doesn't really want to. We are like the child and God is like the parent - sometimes we really have been doing our part and spiritually exerting ourselves and we are just worn out. If that's the case, God will carry us. But we have to truthfully examine whether our problem lies with US - are we just tired and whiny, but haven't really been putting much effort into it?

I have heard people say after Mass on occasion, "Well, I didn't really learn anything from the homily today." I don't think the point is to LEARN something, much of the time - but mostly to be reminded of things we may be slacking on! Today's homily was a great reminder for me. Hugely encouraging to put more effort into my spiritual life, into being more charitable to my family, and to focusing more on prayer, which admittedly falls by the wayside often with the demands of small children.

We know in our every day life that we sort of lose the right to complain about certain things when we make certain deliberate decisions. If I decide to stay up super late playing on the internet, I can't really complain the next day about being tired. If I spend a bunch of money on eating out, I can't complain at the end of the month when the money is gone and the pantry is bare. In the same way, I really cannot get upset at God for not helping me with ___ problem if I haven't put in the effort to ASK for help, and to do things that will ease my burden. I can't complain about feeling impatient with my children if I'm not regularly asking for the grace, in prayer, to be more patient, and if I'm not putting in TRUE effort to BE patient.

So, it seems that a resolution to fill up my spiritual jug is in order. I can certainly think of a couple concrete ways to do that - the specifics of which I will ponder privately, but which involve showing more charity at home: more patience, kindness, and gentleness, and much more consistency and effort in prayer.

New Toy

The hubs bought me a present that I neither needed nor really deserved. It was just an oh-so-giant WANT/wouldn't this be a convenient thing to have/sometimes I get lost and need GPS?

I am pretty darn excited about the oh-so-great camera, but then I realized I can't take a picture of the phone WITH the phone... insert grainy Photo Booth picture.

So, splurge of the year. I really feel spoiled and not like it is quite justified... mostly because I spend most of my time at home and I have internet at home, do I really need it on the go, too? I feel very first-world, non-minimalist. (Not like I was kidding myself before - I love my modern appliances and my laptop and my car, but there is something about a smartphone that is so non-essential, for ME.) But I needed a new phone, regardless. My old phone kept having what I lovingly termed "pregnancy moments" - I would tell it to do something and it was like it couldn't remember what I had pressed.

I'm so excited about the camera/video camera. There are so many little moments I would love to capture (and sometimes tried to with my old phone and its terrible camera) but I don't always want to pull out my giant camera. I LOVE my giant camera, don't get me wrong, but "convenient" is not exactly a word I would use to describe it. I will bring it if we go someplace like the zoo, but it's hard to camera-wear AND baby-wear, and I'm always so worried about bumping it around. Hopefully this will allow me to capture more of the very ordinary moments I want to remember.

so my big camera is probably way more convenient than this thing... I guess it's all relative, isn't it?

Brian downloaded some apps he thought I might appreciate. Facebook, Dave Ramsey, Pandora, Hy-Vee... My Fitness Pal!? Hahaha. I can pretend to be offended but I did use it a lot on the old iTouch. I'm not actively using it now (They've been sending me "Colleen, we miss you!" emails.)

psst: I added a "Follow Me on Pinterest!" link on the right toolbar up towards the top -----> Who would have thought this girl would be able to click "Add HTML/JavaScript" on a Blogger gadget and actually know what to do? With help from Google. :)

Sicks

I just realized I've only taken pictures one time this whole year so far. January is slipping through our fingers!



We have the sicks around here this week. Andrew's cold has been ongoing for weeks and weeks now. I FINALLY took him to the doctor Monday. When they asked "how long has he been sick?" I couldn't even answer the question! That sounds terrible. He has just had some chest congestion and a runny nose for the longest time. At first I thought it was a cold, and then maybe teething... but from a conversation I looked back at on Facebook, it appears he's had this for a full month. Well, two ear infections and bronchiolitis! Poor baby. He is SO SO good-natured though, and really has been sleeping pretty well, there was no way to know it was really more than just a cold! I always hesitate to jump to antibiotics, but we had been doing home remedies that were not helping. We went ahead and did them, and he is FINE now. Within 2 days his chest was completely clear. This happened with him before, over the summer - so I have to wonder if it really was more than just a virus, and actually some kind of bacterial infection.

I feel like my babies always get sick really young! Nate had chicken pox at 2 months, Ben had a BAD case of bronchiolitis and we had to do a bunch of breathing treatments (and he still has problems with constricted airways when he gets sick because of that), Andrew had an ear infection & strep at 4 months and we did breathing treatments over the summer, and he's been sick so much since then. I guess they build up their immune system a lot that first year... they are pretty healthy as toddlers, so?

One of the hard things about being a parent that I never really thought about before having kids is that YOU make the judgment calls on these kinds of things. All of them. Do they need to go to the doctor? Does this cut need stitches? Is this ER-worthy? I hate making the final decision! I always worry that what I decide will be the wrong thing - either I should have taken him in earlier, or I overreacted. But usually whatever we decide ends up being the best thing. There is something to that "mom gut." (not the literal kind.) Moms know! Usually.  (And yes, I usually do call my mom and ask her what she thinks.) :)

this is from Christmas! he is always so cheerful and pleasant. always.

So Andrew is on the mend. But Ben. Oh Ben! He has had a bad case of the grumpies lately, which is unusual for him. I should have known something was coming. (And he says at least 47 times a day, "OH, I have a boo-boo! Kiss it!" with a sad face, sometimes tears. But that is normal.) He has had a fever on and off now for a couple days. Tonight he was pretty pleasant but his temp was 101.6.

Nate did not nap today (a pretty normal occurrence lately!) Normally around 7 he utters a "Oh Mommy, I'm tired..." tonight it happened at 5:30. He stayed up WAY too late playing in his bed last night so I wasn't surprised. But then he went from acting totally normal to acting sick. I took his temp and it was climbing. He acted like he really did NOT feel well so we gave him Tylenol (not really for the fever, it wasn't super high yet). Before Brian had even pulled the dropper all the way out of his mouth he said "OH, I feel really better now!"* and then went up and laid down in bed and crashed.

So, we'll see what tomorrow brings. Maybe they will both wake up fever free? I know several people who have had a random fever day and then, fine. I also know some people with the flu (although I don't *think* we have been exposed to it), so this could go either way.

* The whole reason I started to write this post is because I wanted to remember this incident. SO cute and funny. Medicine is like magic to him. I caught him with the (empty) dropper one day. "Mom, I have to take this medicine so I can feel better." I love him.

Writing in my Diary, v.3

:noticing God's glory: We spent our last Sunday at our current church, as our community is getting its own church (which will eventually become an official parish). I am so sad to leave, because this church holds so many wonderful memories for me - including the church where we were married and where all of our children (so far) have been baptized. Our new church is nice, but it will just not be the same. We remodeled an existing (Protestant) church building - and they just don't build them like they used to. ;)

:listening to: A kid's Christmas CD over and over in the car. Obsessions: I Saw Three Ships, Here We Come A-Caroling. They sang We Three Kings at church today and Nate seemed pretty impressed that they knew "the song from the cd." Now that it's Epiphany, think I can get away with switching it out for Hug Me, Jesus? Or will we listen to Christmas music til March?

:clothing myself in: I think I wear my blue skirt 6 days a week. Sometimes 7. Wearing it right now. The waistband is just so... forgiving.

:thinking: About all the pretty things I found on a new blog today. Buying a house. How I am desperately yearning for a playroom/dedicated play area. How I'm excited to paint. White walls for almost 5 years = ready for color!

:pondering prayerfully: End of the Christmas season. Lent is in 5 weeks...!?!? Sort of a lull right now, but thinking about starting some kind of novena.

:cultivating rhythm: What is that? We are so out of whack. Too many sweets, too many shows, too many meltdowns and so much mom-and-children-tiredness.

:creating by hand: Thinking about making a felt food lobster for Ben, since he's really into the play food right now. And has this thing about lobsters (not that he likes them, but he's kind of fascinated by them and freaked out at the same time.)

the little people order I fulfilled around Thanksgiving - exciting!

:learning lessons in: humility, again? Mass meltdown today.

:encouraging learning: Still obsessed with calendars (thanks to our chocolate Advent calendar!) And now, days of the week. We got a few new games for Christmas - Chutes & Ladders, Dominos, the Lotto Game - will be playing those quite a bit.

:keeping house: It really isn't terrible. I just get to that point where the Christmas decor, as lovely as it is, become a nuisance. The tree is dry and needles are everywhere, and the pretty Christmas cards hanging on the wall start to make it seem cluttered - I am ready for a "fresh start." Packing it up this week, figuring out something clever to do with the cards so I don't have to pack them away.

:in the kitchen: Quite a bit of frozen pizza and simple meals lately. Cooking is not my favorite thing to do these days. I got this personal blender for Christmas and it actually works REALLY well, so I've been making smoothies with frozen berries, yogurt, and a little grape juice for myself. And "It's a mommy drink" seems to be a satisfactory answer when little people ask for a sip. (I rarely DON'T share!)

       the turkey cookies I made on Thanksgiving. Why won't this center?

:loving the moments: Our (very recent) new after-dinner routine is to go downstairs and play. Nate is very into the Wii. He doesn't play, but he holds the remote and acts like he's playing. He loves Wii Play games - the shooting; he announces which level is coming up next - "the targets!", "the grown-up drinks!" (the soda cans you have to shoot - haha), "the aliens!". He also likes the tank game, which daddy is great at and mommy stinks. Mario Kart is a new fave as well. He spends most of the time watching, while Ben serves us play food and Andrew crawls around in the toy area. We usually only play for 20-30 minutes, but now as soon as dinner is done it's "time to go downstairs!!!"

:planning for the week ahead: Catholic Sistas editorial board meeting, doctor's appointment Tuesday, new Bible study group meets Thursday - more on the calendar than normal! Also, GOODBYE, CHRISTMAS TREE.

:funny things: Last week we drove past the apple orchard and I explained that since there is snow on the ground, it's too cold for apples to grow this time of year. Today Nate said "Oh look, the snow is melting, it must be almost time to go apple-picking!"

:new years resolutions: I did not really make. I feel like my head has been a fog for the last several weeks. They would probably have had something to do with eating better exercising more praying more cleaning more being a nicer mom and wife. That's about as far as I got. Trying to accept this fog I'm in and do the best I can for now, in hopes that my sanity will return. :)

I am not in a creative mood today! This post feels super boring and like I'm forgetting a lot of details.

I'm thinking about changing my blog name... but I don't want to start a new blog, so would that mess things up? I would probably change the URL to go along with it. hmm.