New Pacifiers

we got a green one, too.

that's all for now.

Baby Envy

Today Nate & I went with Becky & her kids to the hospital. We were visiting another friend who just had her first baby yesterday. She had a baby girl, and she was BEAUTIFUL! Tiny, too - Veronica (the baby) was 2 pounds less than Nathan was at birth. She had the most perfectly round head with just the right amount of hair and a tiny little bow in it, and gorgeous smooth, pink skin. I love smooth baby cheeks! They are so kissable.

Coincidentally, Theresa gave birth at the same hospital as me - her room was 4 doors down from where I had delivered. Being there reminded me of my "birth experience" just six weeks before, and as I talked with her & listened to her birth story, I was suddenly overcome with a strange and overwhelming desire for a baby. What!? I HAVE a baby! A brand new baby! What is wrong with the one I have? Why do I want another one? And why so soon? Am I crazy?

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I love my baby boy! He is very cute, very sweet, very calm, very easy. And that's just it - easy. Almost too easy. And that's not a bad thing! I still have a LOT of free time. It's not quite the same as before - I can't run out and go shopping as easily, for example. He has to go everywhere with me. But I like that! I like having him with me all the time. I always thought being a mother would be one of the most fulfilling and rewarding things ever - and I was right.

So my baby envy isn't because there's something wrong with MY baby - on the contrary. It's rather because there is something so wonderful about bringing a new little life into the world, and being solely responsible for nurturing that little soul: a task so daunting, and yet so desirable at the same time.

A common philosophy in today's culture is that it isn't wise to have more than one or two children because they will be "deprived." By deprived, they mean deprived of material goods - lots of vacations, nice cars, big houses. Not wanting our children to be deprived - that's exactly why we want to have a large family! We don't want our children to be deprived of the love that brothers and sisters have for each other; the lessons of patience, humility, and generosity that can be so much more easily learned with siblings; the memories of playing board games, going on camping trips, making up stories, spending long summer days outside, lots of birthday parties, and just being silly with those wonderful people we live with; the love a little child has for their new baby sister just home from the hospital; the knowledge that while the world said material things were the most important, Mommy & Daddy chose you instead. These truly are the things in life that make a child privileged, not deprived, and the things that form a child's character - not material goods.

Now as far as wanting another baby already - I guess it's just that motherly instinct, just like when you reach down to help up a little child that has fallen at the park, even though you don't know him, and how you feel especially sorry for him with his skinned-up knee - more so than you ever would have before you were a mother. The desire to nurture, to teach, to love.

I have always been a multi-tasker, schedule-filler-upper, do-as-much-as-possible kind of person. I like being busy. Nate is causing me to slow down a little, and my life is much slower-paced than ever before. I enjoy the excitement of everyday life - I like a little bit of organized chaos. So I guess that's another reason I would love to add another little baby to the mix.

I know, God willing, we will get our next baby when the time is right, and I should enjoy this time with my one darling baby right now, and take advantage of the free time I do have. I am a very goal-oriented, check-off-tasks-on-a-list type person, so I am working on my "things I would like to accomplish" list. Long-term goals currently includes wedding and honeymoon album (maybe I'll get it done before our one year anniversary! wait... that's 2 weeks from now), Nate's baby book, a quilt and a cross-stitch for Nate's room, learning to cook more from scratch, being more consistent with cleaning. I know there will be more. I'm trying to find a balance between simply enjoying life and actually getting things accomplished. Our young family has many, many years ahead - we are trying to make the most of our hours and days.

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Or maybe, I am just crazy.

Insomnia

I felt like the most privileged new mother in the whole world for the first 3 weeks of my baby's life. Nathan was sleeping 6-7 hour stretches, every night (except for the first night home from the hospital - that was a different story)! He would go to bed around 11 or so, & get up around 6 to eat, & then go back to bed for 3 more hours. I didn't want to brag about it too much to my other friends whose babies woke up every 2 hours on the dot, but I felt very lucky.

That has ended.

Nate will not sleep now.

Well... I shouldn't say "will not sleep." How about "fights sleep with every ounce of energy he can muster after being awake for 12 hours straight"?

It is currently 1:55 am - & my darling little boy has fallen asleep briefly & awoken 3 times in the past 3 hours. He is now laying next to me in my bed as I type. I guess our mattress is just more comfortable than his. Not asleep though.

Thankfully, once he's been asleep for more than 45 minutes, I know he'll stay asleep for a good 2-3 hours. It's just getting him to fall asleep initially! He doesn't like naps, either (hence the being awake for 12 hours straight stuff.) Thankfully, we can usually make it through the first 8-9 hours without being cranky.

Besides his cat-napping & dislike for going to bed at a decent hour (which really isn't a huge deal because he's fairly pleasant in the meantime), there is only other difficulty we have:

his love-hate relationship with the pacifier.**

We started off with these Nuks.
He didn't love them, but he didn't hate them, either. He'd fuss, Mom would give it to him, & it would calm him down. But he couldn't keep the darn things in his mouth! He was constantly dropping them! Like, every 7 seconds dropping them. Mom got tired of putting them back in his mouth. Holding them in didn't work, either - that made Nate angry.

So Mom bought these.



I didn't really like that the nipple is so long and thin - I thought they might slip out too easily. And... I was right. Nate doesn't care for these at all, mostly because he can't hold them in on his own. As soon as he stops sucking, they pop out.

We ended up at Grandma's without a pacifier on the 4th of July - his Nuk disappeared somewhere between the fireworks stand & their house. He was a crabby boy that night! So Grandma went to her "baby cabinet" & found a few pacifiers that none of the other kids had liked. So we rinsed them off &, lo and behold, Nate found one that he really liked! I was thrilled - he was taking it so much better!!!

There was only one problem.

It is the most hideous pacifier that has ever been manufactured.



Glow-in-the-dark orange and forest green? Who came up with this, anyway?
I want to buy a new one that is nicer looking, but I want this exact shape. There's not even a "brand" name on the pacifier - the closest thing I can find at the store is a MAM. But the Target by us only has pink MAMS. A no go. So I guess we'll stick with fluorescent orange and green for now. The cute baby makes up for the ugly paci, anyway.



** Disclaimer on the pacifier:
I guess I feel the need to justify a pacifier since it's somewhat a "controversial" subject - they're not "natural", baby should nurse if they need to suck, they can suck on their fingers, blah, blah.
Nathan is NOT a comfort nurser. He eats & is done, done, done. Get away, Mom. But he still wants to suck, & hasn't mastered the sucking on his fingers thing yet. He'll sometimes suck on the side of his fist, but honestly, he prefers the pacifier so much more! And I can throw the pacifier away when he gets too old for it. I can't exactly throw away his thumb...
That, & I'm his mother. So I get to decide. :)

Introduction, I suppose

I guess I should do a little "introductory" post before I dive in here.

I am a complete and total procrastinator. I mean, I do get things done. I can meet a deadline. I'm not a deadbeat or anything. But I wait til the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND to do everything. My baby is almost 3 weeks old & I have about 65 more birth announcements to do. I also have 50 thank-you notes to write for baby gifts (many of which I received at my baby shower... in APRIL.) In college, I sewed my costume for our spring play the night before the dress rehearsal. I once finished a paper 20 minutes before class - it was worth 35% of my semester grade. I could go on and on... but my point is...

I have been wanting to start a blog for a long time. I created imaginary blog posts in my head. I had a list of all the great things I would write about. In fact, I even created THIS BLOG - 3 months ago - and never wrote one single post. So now, in an effort to break the cycle of procrastination - I am posting!

So hmm... about me...
I live with two members of the opposite gender - the Dear Husband, and the Dear Son. The Dear Son goes everywhere with me. The Dear Husband? Not so much. His newest hobby is golfing - he is taking a golf class for college credit. Ah, the beauty of a Liberal Arts degree - such a well-rounded education it even includes a physical education course. So we have spent two out of two days apart this week so far so he can hit some balls & get a tan.

I love both of these males very much, and if I ever complain about them, know that it is with a light heart and a smattering of exaggeration. (Who knows... the Dear Husband might read it someday. So I have to throw in this disclaimer... love you Dear Husband!)

I guess a good description of myself would be "jack of all trades, master of none." That's not to disparage my few talents, but rather my admission that I truly have too many hobbies to master one well. I love cooking, scrapbooking, sewing, crafts, writing, reading, music - and I always have at least one unfinished project in each of these areas. Maybe someday I will finish all of my projects. Then I will have nothing left to do with myself but go to JoAnns and start again.

one more thing. I often don't like starting my sentences with capital letters. perhaps it's from all that chatting online & texting, combined with the fact that I'm no longer a student & very seldom write papers anymore. however, I ALWAYS use punctuation. something about not using punctuation bothers me a lot. and I always capitalize proper nouns. ironically, it drives me crazy when my English students don't capitalize when they should... then again, they are being graded. no one is grading my blog.

Anyway, I will try to make my blog as interesting as possible, seeing as how I HATE reading boring things myself. That way even if no one reads it, I can still go back and read my entries and be entertained. (Wow... that sounds a bit narcissistic.)

The Dear Son needs his mother now...